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The Powell Blog: Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

Here are a collection of some of my favorite / best quotes and sayings.

  1. Uh-Oh her eyes are leaking again, call the plumber
  2. Well, my files were backed up
  3. The army's is like an fps but with better graphics
  4. YEEEHA, What a crash
  5. The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky
  6. Remember to specify that your drive thru order is to go
  7. Leave the copy machine to reduce 200%, extra dark, 9 copies
  8. Start at static on the TV and claim you can see a magic picture
  9. Super glue coins to floors
  10. Its clearly a budget. Its got numbers in it.
  11. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  12. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  13. Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
  14. Why do tug boats push their barges?
  15. Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?
  16. Why is it call after dark when it really is after light?
  17. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  18. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  19. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
  20. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  21. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  22. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  23. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  24. When everything s coming your way, you re in the wrong lane.
  25. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  26. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  27. For Sale, Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  28. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  29. When I m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
  30. You know the speed of light, so whats the speed of dark?
  31. There are three sides to any argument, your side, my side and the right side.
  32. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
  33. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
  34. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
  35. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won t expect it back.
  36. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  37. If you can t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.